Only when I'm around

I have to share two stories of "only me" hilarity.

1) Monday night, I got out of work at 1 a.m. and when I was pulling out of the parking lot, I saw the reflection of my headlights and noticed one was out. Needless to say, that's awesome, since I had to drive to Kentucky the next morning and the last thing I need the week of a holiday is car trouble.

So, since I live like, two blocks away, I figured I could go home and then drive home in daylight Tuesday and get it fixed in Wise. But of course, I end up behind a cop, who immediately does a u-turn, follows me a block and pulls me over IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE.

He takes my license, looks at the address and is like, "oh...." and I go, "yes, this is my house."

He says, "Did you know your headlight is out?"

I say, "Yes."

He says, "How long have you known?"

I say, "About two minutes."

Then he says I'm free to go, which is nice since I'm parked IN FRONT OF MY PORCH.
Luckily, this story has a happy ending. He let me go with a warning, and I was able to get it fixed for like, $5 within 10 minutes of arriving at Wal-Mart in Wise.

2) Mom was supposed to meet me at aforementioned Wal-Mart, but was running 40 minutes late, because as she was leaving, the Christmas tree tumbled over. The ornaments survived, but the (fake) tree literally broke.

When we got home, Anthony, Mom and I all worked on balancing the tree whilst duct-taping it. They got it to stand up and all seemed well, until I was talking to Sean on the phone, and suddenly the tree surges toward my mother, at which point I scream, "OMIGOD THE TREE!" Some ornaments broke, the tree was realio trulio broken and we had to redecorate. It was okay and we survived, but Sean must have been scared to death when I screamed. Gooooood times.

SNL TV Funhouse

A lovely, if perverse, tribute.

life goals

My goals as of today for the next year:
* Read all the books currently required for Virginia SOLs that I didn't read. If 11th graders are more well-versed in literature than I am, that's a problem.
* Work harder to find creative fulfillment.
* Finally conquer time management!
* Finally take cooking seriously!
* Take baby steps toward a more active lifestyle. The bicycle should help.

Those are basically my goals every year. But I feel like I really need a change soon. Things just don't feel right and I hate myself for being jealous when it seems like everyone is living life and I'm busy documenting it in the newspaper. Time to live!

Thank you!

Many thanks to my family and friends from whom I received:
* Awesomely colorful Pottery Barn sheets
* The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell
* A portrait of Feist from the concert I saw (care of Ryan)
* A comfy cardigan from Urban Outfitters
* Nars Orgasm lip gloss
* Stila lip gloss aplenty!

Thanks everybody!

back up off

So, this may be an unpopular thing to say, but I really dislike salespeople.

They rarely sway my decisions. And I have such a psychotic aversion to asking strangers for help that there is no way they can ever be of use to me.

But I guess this time of year, everybody's after a commission.

I was at Ulta, looking at Anastasia brow powder when a salesgirl literally hands me an Urban Decay brow powder and is all, "Oh, it has so much more product, PLUS mini tweezers PLUS a mini brush PLUS an eyebrow wax for just $10 more dollars!"

First of all, I went to Ulta with the Anastasia product in mind. Second of all, I hate Urban Decay make-up. Thirdly, DID I ASK YOU?!

I got so annoyed I eventually put both away and left her section entirely. I'm not sure that's what either she or I had in mind.

Maybe I'm just crotchety but it seemed extremely pushy to me.

i got what i wanted. now what?

I am now the proud owner of an Electra Deluxe ladies' red cruiser 3-speed bicycle. Now we just have to find a way to get it home since the bike store guy says we shouldn't remove the handlebars, neither of us is willing to get a bike rack and between us, we know exactly one person who has a truck.

huh. maybe I didn't think this through too much. Also, braking is so tricky! I have to relearn how to ride, for serious. But I'm super excited and it is super hot.

i want to ride my bicycle

Things are lovely at the moment in most cases. I'm currently driving a rental Kia Spectra while my car is in the shop. We just got a new employee, so I'm back to not only having two days off, but having weekends. I'm turning 24 on Saturday. And most exciting: Sean is going to let me pick out a bike for my birthday!

I really want a classic cruiser with a basket and a bell and a little dog and a baguette from a farmers' market. Hopefully, that will work out.

I'm also happy because even though there are always one or two things that aren't quite taken care of yet, I've been fairly productive. I ordered copies of my transcript just in case I need them in the future, I've bought several Christmas gifts already and I got a bunch of books to get me through the next month or so.

I read a terrifically inspiring piece about Bill Clinton's foundation and its work in Africa and I thought, "You know what? Times are hard, and I don't make a ton of money, but I could commit at least $100 a year to some kind of charity." So I think I'm going to do that. Donate at least $100 a year to something; lord knows they need it now more than ever since everybody is thinking the opposite. So for me, it will either be The Clinton Foundation or Harlem Children's Zone or something else that will probably lose funding as states make their budget cuts.

burning down the house

Talking Heads |MTV Music

MTV has loaded all of their vintage videos onto one site and I just spent an hour reliving childhood. SO GOOD! Find your favorites: MTV Music

No longer a partly cloudy patriot

Last night was a doozy, with lots of shouting and pizza. And around 11 p.m., a group hug and tears.
I can't wait to tell my children and grandchildren about the moment our presidential election ended.
About John McCain's gracious speech.
About the crowds that surrounded the White House.

I woke up this morning and turned on my computer.
I read stories in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post.
I looked at photo galleries and videos of people dancing in the streets.
And I listened to "A Change Is Gonna Come," bawling my eyes out.

Today, I am so incredibly proud.

forgive the poor quality

Norfolk Obama Rally from Amber Lester on Vimeo.

But I thought you should know what it's like to be at an Obama rally, in Norfolk, when Kanye West is playing.

This is from my phone, so needless to say, we're not winning any Oscars.