Only when I'm around

I have to share two stories of "only me" hilarity.

1) Monday night, I got out of work at 1 a.m. and when I was pulling out of the parking lot, I saw the reflection of my headlights and noticed one was out. Needless to say, that's awesome, since I had to drive to Kentucky the next morning and the last thing I need the week of a holiday is car trouble.

So, since I live like, two blocks away, I figured I could go home and then drive home in daylight Tuesday and get it fixed in Wise. But of course, I end up behind a cop, who immediately does a u-turn, follows me a block and pulls me over IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE.

He takes my license, looks at the address and is like, "oh...." and I go, "yes, this is my house."

He says, "Did you know your headlight is out?"

I say, "Yes."

He says, "How long have you known?"

I say, "About two minutes."

Then he says I'm free to go, which is nice since I'm parked IN FRONT OF MY PORCH.
Luckily, this story has a happy ending. He let me go with a warning, and I was able to get it fixed for like, $5 within 10 minutes of arriving at Wal-Mart in Wise.

2) Mom was supposed to meet me at aforementioned Wal-Mart, but was running 40 minutes late, because as she was leaving, the Christmas tree tumbled over. The ornaments survived, but the (fake) tree literally broke.

When we got home, Anthony, Mom and I all worked on balancing the tree whilst duct-taping it. They got it to stand up and all seemed well, until I was talking to Sean on the phone, and suddenly the tree surges toward my mother, at which point I scream, "OMIGOD THE TREE!" Some ornaments broke, the tree was realio trulio broken and we had to redecorate. It was okay and we survived, but Sean must have been scared to death when I screamed. Gooooood times.

SNL TV Funhouse

A lovely, if perverse, tribute.

life goals

My goals as of today for the next year:
* Read all the books currently required for Virginia SOLs that I didn't read. If 11th graders are more well-versed in literature than I am, that's a problem.
* Work harder to find creative fulfillment.
* Finally conquer time management!
* Finally take cooking seriously!
* Take baby steps toward a more active lifestyle. The bicycle should help.

Those are basically my goals every year. But I feel like I really need a change soon. Things just don't feel right and I hate myself for being jealous when it seems like everyone is living life and I'm busy documenting it in the newspaper. Time to live!

Thank you!

Many thanks to my family and friends from whom I received:
* Awesomely colorful Pottery Barn sheets
* The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell
* A portrait of Feist from the concert I saw (care of Ryan)
* A comfy cardigan from Urban Outfitters
* Nars Orgasm lip gloss
* Stila lip gloss aplenty!

Thanks everybody!